+ / –

Here goes 2005`s review.
<< + >>
– got my driver licence
– got my Cambridge diploma ( CAE )
– my first article got published in EgoPHobia e-zine
– changed school, which turned out to be a good thing after all.. :)
– discovered rock music and all that comes with it
– seen Apocalyptica and Paradise Lost performing live.
– been at Peninsula festival, which actually changed my life
– met new people.. been accepted in the rocker`s small ‘community’ :) – Cotoara, Bandean, Pavel..
– regained Adi and Csabi as friends
– owning a classic guitar and being able to play Metallica`s ONE with it ( ok ok, only the beginning )
– discovered the cure for soul in music
– my back didn`t cause any trouble this year
<< - >>
– lost first love
– still haven`t found the balance between love and friendship.

2005 photo album – session 2

The pooh dog.. Csabi`s gift. Told you it`s freakin` huge. :)


That`s the famous Morar Andrei, the author of so many pictures around here.. He`s only 1/2 rocker, not entirely converted, but it`s on our to-do list. :))) Oh, and in the last picture, you can see his nails and the reason they`re so famous for. :)))))))))))

Aahahhahahahahahaha, I declare this the picture of the year.. that`s Steel, with his nose and mouth stuck on to a window in Star FM studio.. :))))

Crazy Dorin.. crazy posture. :)))))))



Uhm.. that`s Adi.. :) First picture he is ‘a rocker’. Second.. he`s ‘sleeping’. :)))))))))

Ultraviolets in the floor. Bizzare Pub. :)

The cross near a Christmas tree. Antithesis ? ;)

Xmas and beyond

So.. hmwhat ? What if Santa was so giving this year ? My folks got me a classic guitar, Adi a TV tunner and Csabi a big pooh dog.. and I mean big ! Like a meter or so. :) I would have never imagined that coming from them.. I mean, yes, we`re friends, but.. :) It means so much to me. :) Not the gifts as they are, but the fact they gave them from the heart. Thanks a lot, guys.
My Christmas tree looks awesome, the atmosphere is great, it`s snowing, but.. of course, Christmas.. started bad, with a terrible hangover from Rock Xmas event ( where I had the chance to listen to Godmode from Cluj – love `em – and Fading Circles again – adore `em !! ) and an unsual depression ( met duck after half an year at the event ). A few hours of agony, of silly questions about all the Christmas fuss ( like.. what is Christmas all about ? Why is it considered such a great holiday ? Why can`t I feel the spirit of Christmas ? What should I feel exactly ? I should be glad about what ? Singing carols about a God I don`t believe in ?, etc.. etc. ) and everything was ok afterwards, when I met with Adi, Csabi, Steel and Criss at Star FM.
Hmmm.. Christmas is nice because of other things. For example, I now have enough time to watch movies, listen some new music, write, talk to the guys on messenger, going out. It`s holiday, and on holiday everyone relaxes. :) Here are some pics I`ve noticed on my computer. :)

Silly SensiBlu reindeer I photographed after a Tubor Strong one Friday. Isn`t that cute ? :))

That`s Bandean Vlad Aiurel.. :)))) I wrote about him in the ‘From normal to stupid’ series.. great colleague, one of the 3 lords of rock in my class, the biggest Judas Priest fan alive.. :) In the first picture, he`s wearing the jacket he bought.. he looks so damn cool.. and in the second, well.. :))))))) I don`t know what he`s doing, but lemme tell you he is NOT peeing… hopefully :P.

Oooh.. ahahahahaha :))))))) That`s me. Nice hair, huh ? It was a bet.. I got 10 RON for lookin` like that during Maths class… with all the pink accessories included. :) Dammit !

Pavel.. another rocker.. you already met 2 of them. Ahahaha, that grave is in a park near our highschool.. some soldier with the same name as his is burried there.. :)))))) That picture is modified in Photoshop.. you can see Pavel`s ‘ghost’.. :)))))))

Cotoara at Peninsula.. last rocker from the trio of guys. I`m suppose to be the forth wheel. ;)

And a smiley globe. Not to forget it`s Xmas.. :) Pictures rule.. Second session.. ? As soon as I get home.

Infinite lamentation

Sorry I`m away that long.. :) It`s just that these final weeks are putting a stop to my residual energy. One more week and there comes the weirdest time of the year.. Christmas and stuff.. I don`t know where to hide this year from the lack of money. I don`t even know what I want for Christmas.. a guitar, an iPod, a motherboard, some more memory.. an audio system. Oh screw me :) I want them all, but all that`s gonna be in my pocket for Christmas is 20 RON. What should I buy with those money ? I don`t even have enough to buy my friends or parents something with `em, not to mention myself.. Then what should I do ? Ask my parents money for my friends and.. the other way around ? THAT.. is lame. I`ll just tell them all I`m broke. :P
And now I`m ruuuuuuunnin`.. like an angel.. to the suuuuun.. My God, this song from Guano Apes completely rules.
Neverminding the song, must say I feel like a bag of daily laments. All I can do is complain. I hate this, I hate that, that guy`s stupid, that bitch sucks, school sucks even more, fuck the system, kill the government, I wish I was all alone, I wish I wasn`t so alone, I wish I had a beer, I wish my head didn`t hurt.. DAMMIT ! This should stop. Somehow, being me probably isn`t easy, but my state ( even my state of mind ) is a lot better than anyone`s, if I look around. Wish I could indulge mediocrity, but I can`t. There`s nothing here to satisfy me completely, so I go into this abyss searching for some hidden absolute, but all I can find is more nothing, or just some complex phantoms, illusions.
It`s winter. I wanted to say something in order to complain again, so I`d better end this post here, `till I won`t totally get on my own nerves. Oh, that picture Andrei Morar gave me is beautiful. It`s what he saw one morning from his window. Fantastic, hm ? Still… winter. :P

Just jabbering around…

Yeah, this is one of the useless posts in which I`m lettin` everyone know how my life`s going.. So uninteresting, I know, I`m aware.. but I have to, it`s essential to me, even if I`d better start writing those articles for EgoPHobia.. maybe later.. I need to get really pissed off first, because I planned to write as sarcastic and mean as I can. >:)
Soooo.. my so-called relationship is on timeout for a week now.. Hmpf.. _ADI_`s like a leaf in the wind.. Everyone`s opinion counts, he`s so influenced.. and it really scares me to get involved.. What if his parents won`t agree ? ( His father already has something against me.. I sense it.. ) What if the gang of guys will suddenly decide I`m not good enough for him ? That`ll certainly make him wonder. He`s not strong, he can`t fight, he said it.. and I know that too well.. after all, I know him so well :). Too well for this kind of relationship. I`m scared and I admit it. Don`t know what to think and how to judge this.. He wants to continue, he made it clear, now it`s up to me.. but I`m stuck. On one side I want it too, but there are thousands of things that pull me back. First, there`s no love. Not from me, not from him. We decided it`ll be something that.. grows into us.. but.. how do we know it`ll grow ? :)) Silly.. We`re kids, wondering. I can`t believe I`m after an almost 2 years relationship and I have these questions on my mind. I should know ! If not me, then who ? Adi ? Get serious.. I barely taught him how to kiss :))). And if this turns out not to work.. the triangle ( me, Adi, Csabi ) will disappear.. we`re the gang, we`re best friends, we rock together.. should we spoil it ? Dammit, if my hand was on a trigger, the decesion would have been much easier. Can`t just go with the flow.. I`m supposed to be mature and think twice now. And that`s what I`m doing.. thinking.. thinking.. but time`s tickin`.. tickin`.. What`s with the rush, anyway ? I`m freakin` 18.
Pfff.. complete menu : school started. I`m so amazed to observe the teachers are so far from the thought of retrieving the lessons.. they only want grades.. to have the money and a clear position in front of everyone who dares to put some questions. I don`t get it.. it`s all slipping away from my mind.. I`m loooooosing it !
Heh, I get along well with the rockers in my class, the three princes, like I`ve said. The Cage experience has repeated, with 4 beers this time, but.. I didn`t even feel them. Probably because I was sleeping `till 12 o`clock ? :-” .. Wasn`t me.. :))
Started listening to Disturbed and Slipknot. It`s bad, isn`t it ? :P