Gosh, keep me from driving !

Posted on August 30, 2005 by Roxa

Just came back from driving lesson today.. Man, I can`t park a Goddamn car. :)) I mean.. today I destroyed a landmark. Not only that it fell while I was rotating the steering wheel, but then I ran with the car over it, and I even heard it crackle. :/ Oh well.. talkin` to Sensation later, he really supported me.. like a true pal.. :)

Sensation: STAY AWAY FROM THE CARSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Sensation: get in the kitchen bici :))

))))))))))))

Roxa: ahahaahahahahaha

Roxa: I know more about cars than about cookin`

Roxa: )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Roxa: so imagine how bad my cookin` sucks

Sensation:

All in all, my driving exam is in 19 September. And the other bullshit in 2nd of September… :/

Belonging

Posted on August 26, 2005 by Roxa

Did it ever happen to you to feel you don`t belong here ? And I`m not talkin` about a place or time, I`m talkin` about.. Fuck knows what I`m talkin` about.

I shouldn`t be here, sittin` on this chair, lookin` at this monitor, listenin` to this music, being in this room, in this block, in this city, in this country, in this world, in this burnded tired mind.. I long to be me, but in a different place. This city is killin` me. These persons I`m surrounded with are fuckin` killing me.. all I see is limited minds with no logic.. people who are not aware that there`s more to life than their pathetic monotone existence..

Freedom.. there`s one more week and you will own me. Hopefully.

Marcel Proust is asking.. :)

Posted on August 24, 2005 by Roxa

Well, I read only the articles in Dilema Veche, didn`t bother to scroll down.. Thank God I read TTBM`s blog to see what I was missing.. :)

So, they call it Proust`s questionnaire. Here`s what it`s about.

1. Main feature – stubbornness.

2. An attribute you`d like to find in a man – cleverness.

3. An attribute you`d like to find in a woman – perspicuity.

4. The most valuable thing to be found in my friends – the fact they don`t judge me.

5. Main imperfection – wickedness.

6. Favourite occupation – writing, talking, singing, listening ( not only to music :) )

7. Happiness – a sea / ocean, a beach, music and friends.. one word : freedom.

8. The most unfortunate event – becoming deaf.

9. Favourite color – green

10. Favourite place to live – anywhere, as long as it is my place.

11. Favourite flower – orchids, for aspect

12. Favourite bird – vulture

13. Favourite writers – Edgar Allan Poe, Stephen King, Charles Dickens, James Clavell, Dostoievski

14. Favourite poets – none.. I hate poetry.. maybe Mihnea from Luna Amara, but first I have to read his book. :)

15. Favourite male heros from literature – Joe ( Charles Dickens – ‘Great expectations’ ), Dracula :))

16. Favourite female heros from literature – Carry ( Stephen King – ‘Carry’ ).

17. Favourite composers – Bach, Vivaldi, the guys from Delerium.. :)

18. Favourite painters – painting and poetry.. man I hate these.

19. Favourite real life heros – everyone is a hero once in a lifetime.

20. The thing you hate the most – stupidity.

21. An attribute I would have liked to have from the day I was born – ability to sing.

22. How would you like to die – fast :

23. Mistakes you tend to excuse the most – ignorance.

24. My motto – Give life to your years, not years to your life.

Fever

Posted on August 23, 2005 by Roxa

..Aaaand the fever`s rising. Man I haven`t been so ill since.. well frankly, have I ever been so ill ? This is killing me. Last night I thought I was dyin`, and I only had 38.4. ‘Only’.. I think it`s because of that stupid bath I just had to take yesterday.. that`s without mentioning my neck is acheing the shit outta me. That`s the main reason of my fever, I guess..

It`s only 1 PM and I`m burning with 38 degrees.. sheesh, I gotta take some meds.. or go see a doctor. This can`t be happening now ! :/

Well, last night I was whining and cryin` in my bed ( went to bed at 9 PM, please remember ), shivers where going up and down my spine, I was under a blanket and a quilt, feeling cold, my eyes were hurting like hell and I couldn`t feel warm and start to sweat for the next two hours. That was a living hell. Oh, talkin` about hell .. while I was all raving, I sent him an SMS : ‘How many legs has an egg ?’ :)))))))))))))))) Like what the phuck was I thinkin` ? Sheesh.. :)) I sent _ADI_ another one.. ‘If you knew I was dyin` right now, what would you say to me ?’ .. Like, next time I reach 38 point something, I gotta hide my phone.. from myself.. :)))))

Bitter moon, my saviour

Posted on August 21, 2005 by Roxa

I interrupt this blog to announce a breaking news : my new Romanian favourite group is Luna Amara.

~ to be continued ~

And let me continue. Right now I`m burning with fever and my eyes are injected with insomnia, but it doesn`t matter. There`s more to life.. actually, there`s more to MY OWN life right now, right in these moments, in these very moments I`m sittin` in front of the computer. What could it be ?

Have you ever felt… complete ? Musically completed by an echo.. They`re my echo, they are Luna Amara.

They`re absolutely amazing. What is that one worships in his life ? The three values : the truth, the beauty and the well-state. Luna Amara combines them with everything we hate the most about our ephemeral lives. We hate our corrupt country, we hate the people we voted for as we watch their fortunes grow and our pockets filling with nothing but medical prescriptions, we hate the blind society we live in, the stupidity surrounding us daily with its claws that can hurt, but can never kill, we hate our despair and the void we swim in, we hate our empty shells we hide in, we even end up hating ourselves. Why ? Because we live here, where everything is possible, where the past haunts us and where you HAVE to feel nothing if you wanna pull some strings and sanely start to build a so-called life. And Luna Amara talks about all of these things. They`re your escape from Procust`s bed, they`re everything beyond the borders of limited ideas, they`re what you get to see through the key-hole of life.

Heh, Mihnea… :)

The fingers that play that trumpet so magnificent are the same fingers which he uses to type when he talks to the band`s fans. Unbelievable.

I truly admire them. I admire their concept. I admire their way of rising out of mediocrity. I admire their smart lyrics, their lead content songs, their highly emotional live shows, their way of sayin` to everyone their tragedies can be surpassed, their imbold to stand up and fight.

They`re officially… not my favourite group, but my favourite way of living.

Does it always have to be a title ?

Posted on August 19, 2005 by Roxa

Sheesh.. my Windows miraculously came back to life after two days of booting in Linux and desperately tryin` to save the data left on my C:\ drive, which, of course, stunned my Outlook. Considering that, I almost wished my Windows was as dead as before, but well, I managed to unravel the darkened secrets of the ravashed Outlook. :D

On the other hand, yesterday, me and _ADI_ visited Cristi, watching him destroying his father drill, modifyin` some furniture.. And the fun there was.. tears came out of our eyes as Cristi got mad because we were teasing him about the unequal distances between the holes he made in the sideboard.. ahhahahaha.. :)))

Anyway, Cristi gave me a new accessory for my phone, which I considered it would be good to photograph. There are two pictures.. sorry for the quality, I took them using a phone.

Isn`t the pooh donkey cute ? :))) I love it, even if it`s kinda childish to have that hanging out of your phone. I`m still a kid, so you`ll have to accept that.. :))

By the way.. can someone borrow me a TV ? :/

Pain`s no tragedy

Posted on August 18, 2005 by Roxa

.. Or at least that`s what I`m tryin` to convince myself. Suddenly realised today I can`t share my deepest thoughts nor my darkest feelings, not even writing them here. My mind is lost in this huge maze standing above an abyss, this unknown, uncharted and unfamiliar territory that has never been explored. It may be a way out or an infinite darkness. Right now I`m on the edge, deeply speculating the fading shadows I watch daily. They`re black and tempting. They are represeting what we simply call… pain.

What is pain ? A laddering emotion coming from your most intimate roots, from that inner sanctuary you used to take flight in whenever you needed a moment with yourself. The place you worship is the exact same place that can be your heaven whenever pain isn`t around to transform it in … hell. Then your world falls. You`re lost in mistful meditations, you can`t find your peace of mind, and there`s a darkness surrounding every corner of your soul. We cry, we confess, we desperately try to stop it. To put an end to it. Why ? Pain is natural. You give birth to it. It`s a feeling that proves you`re still alive. You should enjoy pain, enjoy it as an intimate feeling that no one else understands. They can`t feel what you feel, so enough with the ‘I understand’ and the hugs you need to move on.

YOU DON`T NEED to move on, you need to live the pain. It`s the most sincere and sacred feeling, and it can never be stained nor burried.

Occupation ? None whatsoever.

Posted on August 17, 2005 by Roxa

Browsing is all I can do at this hour, so I ran into this website full of tests. I`m not really into these things, but now I`m waiting to hit the road, so what can I say ? I`m doing my best to keep myself entertained.. :)))) Amazing how one test can say a part about who you are… Check this out, it`s perfectly true !

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World’s Shortest Personality Test

.. :) It`s short alright, you only have to choose a picture.

You Are 20% Weird

Not enough to scare other people…
But sometimes you scare yourself.

How Weird Are You?

Ahahahahaha, I`m still laughin` about this one.. They`re so right ! :) I`m ashamed about the next one.. Is it raining ? How`s the weather ? :P

Part Playful Kisser

Kissing is a huge game for you, a way to flirt and play
You’re the first one to suggest playing spin the bottle at a party
Or you’ll go for the wild kiss during a game of truth or dare
And you’re up for kissing any sexy stranger if the mood is right!

Part Freaky Kisser

When you kiss, you want to experience something new
A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing…
And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable
There’s no saying where your tongue or hands will go

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Your Mood Ring is Red

Excited
Energized
Adventurous
Ready to go

Mood Ring Generator

Who`s the energy bomb, who`s the energy bomb ? :)))))))))) This is silly, I have to stop. Enough.

First boot in Linux

Posted on August 16, 2005 by Roxa

I have two words for today : fuckin` shit.
Unplugged the hard disk and, as usual, I went to _ADI_`s place to write some DVDs, when suddenly his PC rebooted, with my hard disk as master. That completely phucked up my XP. It`s all gone, I`m not even using it right now.
Guess what I did ? I booted in Linux`s Ubuntu, from a Live CD. Good thing I remembered I have that… What can I say ? I know shit about it, and it`s only a live CD, can`t really do my thing here. It`s cool, especially Firefox. I hate Gaim, can`t add a freakin` status, dunno why. Anyhow, I`m totally pissed.
Now I have to install Windows all over again… Fuck this shit !

Serenity now !

Posted on August 15, 2005 by Roxa

Today I was like ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ ever since I got up and went to pay the exam tax for my driver licence. Yeah, now I`m laughin`, but back then I felt like needing to be told that wasn`t happening to me. :)))))))

So, on my way downtown, I suddenly remembered I left my identity card at home and that I would probably need it. I just stopped, with a long straight face, blinked twice and turned around, heading home for my ID card. I must have looked really funny… Anyway, it was kinda hot, so I started to sweat once I got to my destination, but when I got out of there I realised it was not because somebody turned the heat on again. The lady who I gave the tax money to misspelled my name on the receipt. Instead of ‘Roxana’ she wrote ‘Rocsana’. Ah come on ! Had to go back and tell her to correct the paper. Like all these weren`t enough, on my way home, three little gipsy homeless kids with a wheelbarrow circled me and planned on keepin` me there until I gave them some change. That was too phuckin` bad for them, because I get nervous so phuckin` easily and my neural training for the day was already done, so I angrily told one of them : ‘Get out of my phuckin` way. NOW !’ Aahahahhahaha, poor kid didn`t know which way to run faster.. Don`t want to imagine the annoyed look upon my face.

Well, I don`t know what got into me to write all these here. Well who cares ? As long as it makes me feel better ( and it does ), it should be alright with everyone. :)

Fascination Street

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Monthly Archives: August 2005