Mask of sanity

..But actually I`m going slightly mad. I sit in my room listening to Children Of Bodom – Black Widow and I can feel their guitar rushin` through my veins. In few minutes I`ll be ‘bodoming’ after midnight.. :))
Well what can I say ? There are a lot of funny things from school to be written, a lot of laughing, tiredness all the way.. Anyway.. I`m into this illusion that everything`s fine, that I`m fresh and ready for anything, everything.. At school everything`s smooth, I have lines for absolutely any stupid thing, random thing or attack, I think I`m finally accepted into the rockers` small comunity.. :) I`m feeling great I tell you, great ! When I`m not shouting or yellin`, I`m laughin` my ass out with Ioana or the three ( or four ? ) rockers, I`m cool because I`m spontaneous and sparky, I`m radiating. Tziru and my formmaster are the only persons that can change my attitude and get me angry or totally depress me. Oh, and back home, my folks can do the same.. :)
All these are just a mask of sanity, as I said. There`s a ticking bomb in me, which can explode in any moment. Haven`t cried in a while.. long while. Sheesh, what the hell is going on with me ? It`s like I`ve created these walls and nothing can get through them. What`s worse is that I`m starting to completely isolate myself in my head again. I`m not talkin` to anyone, I find it better to just screw them all, `coz it`s easier than tryin` to feel something.
*** means for the last ten minutes I was daydreaming, staring at the white wall in front of me, seeing nothing but black. Intriguing, huh ? Anyway, I can`t think anymore. Ahaha, you`ve got it all wrong.. I CAN think, but I`m thinking fast, words and lines collapse before I can taste their essence and put it down here.
I still don`t know why I was born and what is my meaning in this world. I`m just goin` with the flow.. still wondering.. and wandering.
Can`t wait to tell you the funny part.

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