Monthly Archives: October 2005

Halloween in traffic

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HAPPY !!!

I rock, I rock, I rrrrrrroooock ! :)))
Took my driving exam.. how much do I rock ? A LOT. :))))) This was better than I`ve ever expected. Well fuck me, I can`t write a thing, _ADI_ is behind me and he`s laughin` his ass out… :)).. so I think this post will be continued once I get home.. to peace and quiet. :) Bye for now.
Home, finally.. So, lemme tell you. I got there at about 9 o`clock and spent 3 fuckin` hours out in the cold until my turn to go in came.. Alphabetical order sucks, being placed at the end sucks even more. Oh well, I had the questionnaire nr. 9, I thought it was pretty easy, but I didn`t wanna spoil everything sayin` it was, so I shut my mouth and silently waited for the results, freezing to death. Meanwhile, poor ol` Sauce came to morally support me. Thank you man, it meant a lot. :) He was the one who did the countdown with the files.. and all I remember now is his white jacket in which I got hugged.. :))))) After freezing another two hours, went driving with the same guy my dad argued last Thursday.. oh well.. :)))) IT WAS SO COOL !! He`s so smart, I had the lines, I knew the driving rules, who cared about the car that came right after the corner of the road, who cared about the two old ladies ? :))))) I managed to do everything by the book. Damn, I`m too happy.. waaay too happy. I`m carefree now. CAREFREE. ME. Can`t believe it.
Well, I wanted to post this for a long time now. Another proof of human stupidity. Has nothing to do with my happiness. This can go in the ‘is there anything left to save ?’.. It`s phunny :P.

You can find this ‘commercial’ on my very own block.. sheesh. ‘Products .. + other products..’ Oh come on ! This is if you close your eyes : ‘S.C. Pink Panther’.. Gimme a break.. :))))))

Fuck them, I`m a driver. :)))))))

Time changes, times change

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Groovy moods following Audioslave in their dynamic musical trip. These guys are nothing but lascivious guitars and a heavenly voice.. Love `em, absolutely fantastic music. THIS is music, my friends.
Not here to post a lot, just wanted to say that tonight 4 AM becomes 3 AM. Wheee, more sleep for us ( riiight ) ! :) Actually, winter`s coming. The cold season in which everyone`s heart should be filled with love and giving, in which you should stick to your families during Christmas and run away from the city with a bunch of friends on New Year`s eve and of course, in which religion occupies and complicates everyone`s lives. Well, for me it`s gonna be the season in which I`ll freeze to death, be in a continuous coma because of the lack of sleep and of course, in which I`ll swear loneliness, Christmas, God… I hate winter. And I`m starting to hate the holidays that are approaching.. New Year`s eve.. the night of memories.. that`s gonna be the longest post of this goddamn year, the review. Must say I feel pretty accomplished about what I`ve managed to do this year, pulling some strings or not. :) No need to start posting them now, their time will come.
Sooo, just wanted to tell you that winter`s knocking on our doors. Judging by the temperatures, you wouldn`t see it coming, but you can feel it in the wind, it cuts your skin like a razor`s edge. And the leaves.. none of `em are green anymore.. and they`re more layin` dead on the footpath than hanging in the trees… such a yellowish swishing carpet. I watch the sad landscape from the window, staring at the void, and the wind keeps cluttering my hair.
Clutter my soul as well, blow everything in it away.. Reduce the world to silence for an hour tonight. Make them stop and think, dear wind. Let them know the times are changing, not only the time.

Ordinary life

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Right now I`m watching the Radio STAR enormous pencil I have in front of me, on the desk, as I hold my hair with my hand, beginning to bang my hand on Liquido`s Ordinary Life. This is one heck of a nice song.. not too deep, not too sound-appealing.. ‘Nice’ is just the right word. And it makes you feel nice too. Haven`t felt nice in a while.. now I do.
Why do I feel nice ? `Coz nice is random, and I ain`t feeling exactly in the special area tonight. I`m random, common, usual… NORMAL.. tonight. Without a tonight everything would have been so much better. Random means happy, up to a point, and I have this strange form of happiness drawing itself beyond every tiny inner piece of me.
Should have gone to Cage with Old, he told me he misses proper people. I`d give anything to know what he was talking about.. :) Well it`s kinda hard to open someone like Old, who always seems to tell you everything in such an abstract way.. like lettin` you guess the rest of it.. or even the whole fact. Aaaanyway, didn`t go out because I lack money. Second proposal of the night came from Sauce, some ride with the car, good laughing and brief stories.. turned him down, dunno why.. It`s not THAT late and.. it probably would have done me good to go out. Oh screw it, it`s Friday night and I`m home. Adi and Csabi are.. well, where ? Adi`s status says ‘Stepped Out’, Csabi has idle. Sauce is gone now, dunno where, Crin is online, but we don`t talk, again, dunno why. Oh look, here`s Kokutsa ( Lila ) telling me she has failed her driving exam.. ahaha.. :)))
Can you believe all the radom things I can write ? Told you I`m normal. :) And I live a quiet normal life, as well.
So, will mediocrity save me from loneliness ? `Cause stubborness, spirited mind, rage and energy sure keep me away from society. I should randomize more often.

EgoPHobia

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BREAKING NEWS !!!

My first article is gonna be published in EgoPHobia.. I love that e-magazine, and I just.. did it, I made it from the very first try.. I`m so amazed.. :)
The article is called ‘Chained rebel’ and I don`t know if I`m allowed to put it down here.. should I ask ? I`m confused. :P Anyway, I`ll post the link thowards it when it`ll appear.. that means a few days. :) I hope this is only the beginning.
…Aaaaand.. it`s out ! EgoPHobia #8 that is. You can read my article at the English section or here.

Youth imitation

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No, Sauce, you`re not allowed to laugh at this one, because it represents a real title with a real meaning. Ok, ok, just a little.. :))
Chokin` in my pain again, can`t breathe, starving weeds are circling around my wrists and neck. Hard to explain.. a constant sum of things I can`t divide or apprehend go way beyond my powers deep in my head. All I see is my face that already has a wrinkle in the middle of the forehead because of the repeated frownings.. It hit me today that the expression of my face is aggresive, full of rage, energy and pride, but only when I frown, and I FROWN, trust me, I even sleep frowned, with my fist closed under the pillow. Hm.. this visage of mine has been like this for years. Come to think of it, I had the same expressiveness since comprehensive school, when Marius, my dear deskmate, told me I look like a mad superhero.. all I needed was a mantle and some make-up.
So, is it true ? Am I that old ? I`m 18 and I feel like I`ve seen it all, but every day that passes by proves me wrong. Parents who abandon their kids to run off in some fuckin` wood to marry Robin Hood, mothers who leave home and don`t even answer the children`s phonecalls or messages, people who paint Hitler`s cross ( the svastic ) on a Jewish synagogue and then kill themselves, people who phuck on the first date… and no, they`re not at all far away.. they`re happening here, around me, right now, as I write these piffling words with, probably, no meaning for most of you.
Is this my youth ? Is this what surrounds me ? Sheesh. I feel old. Let the rage in me subside.. one day I`ll kill y`all frustrations out there in my mind.

Now

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I`m ok. Sometimes lucid, sometimes insane; sometimes full of energy, sometimes close to death; sometimes runnin` and laughing, sometimes sleeping and dreaming of Cluj in the middle of the Physics class; sometimes banging my head after midnight, sometimes layin` in bed, suffering from head to toes; sometimes listening to Children Of Bodom and Sepultura, sometimes only Audioslave and Delerium; sometimes rock, sometimes clubbing; sometimes not leaving the house a whole weekend, sometimes Bucharest; sometimes rain, sometimes sun.. :) That`s me. And I`m ok the way I am.
‘And to be yourself is all that you can do’, like Audioslave would say.. That`s what I say right now. I`m me and I`m happy with who I am. My mom`s words from last night keep coming to my mind : ‘You`re going down, you`re only going down as you grow up, I don`t know what`s going on with you or in that head of yours.’ .. Yes, it has affected me, until I managed to write, in only a minute, the most beautiful, abstract and yet depressing ‘good night’ I`ve ever written. :) The whole idea was that I`m gonna protect my nothingness with nothing and that I`m counting the nothings to eternity. Spooky, huh ? :) In Romanian it sounds a lot better, trust me…

Best friend number one.. Csabi and I at Star FM.

Best friend number two.. Adi.. and me, of course, somewhere near the citadel.

Along with my plant and Sauce, they`re all I have left, and I`m talking about true friends. Them and a guitar solo. Enough for me, enough for now. :)

Advertisement for your country

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This will also be posted… tomorrow, you`ve guessed. :))
So, we had to write an advertisement for our country as homework at English. Here`s what Andrew and I came up with. Must say Andrew`s insane, nothing more and nothing less. :)))))))
‘ Are you bored of the same wonderful vacations in the Caribbeans, the clean beaches with white sand and clear blue water ? Are you tired of Switzerland`s Alps, the clean white snow, good wine, hot whiskey and delicious ginger ? If the answer is yes, then you must come to Romania. We guarantee you won`t have a pleasant stay.
If you want to see dirty cliffs with mud and ugly gypsies picking up government protected plants to sell them for less than a dollar, then this is the place to be. We also include filthy resorts with smelling blankets and no bathroom at all. If you call in the next 24 hours, we will include a money-begging gypsy or a combo gypsy new-born for your relatives with no baby. For 99.99$ we can also offer typical Romanian babes around 16 years old, who can treat you really ‘nice’; if you are a male and you prefer boys or other creatures, no problem at all.
You don`t like the mountains ? We also have seaside; great hotels with cleaning ladies who you won`t get to see because they`ll probably be watching some Mexican daytime drama. We guarantee you won`t find another seaside with so many dead fish, dirty sand, garbage coming out of the water, and of course, restaurants with bad meat. If instead you prefer fast-food, we recommend Turbo chewing gum and Polar ice-cream, everlasting in the Romanian tradition. Don`t forget the concerts of the greatest Romanian artists, featuring Adrian Copilu` Minune, Vali Vijelie, Gutza, Romeo Fantastic from Tuberculeshti and Gigi cel Zbengos.
So, come to Romania, and find out that vacations are not only fun; they can also be full of stress and willingness to return to your country. Live the unique Romanian experience ! ‘
:)))))))) I don`t wanna know how my grade would have looked like for something like this. :))