Fascination Street

The most ridiculous fear in life is the fear of being ridiculous

Stinkfist

‘Constant over stimulation numbs me.’.. Well, it`s been a while since my last depression.. now it`s all coming back to normal. The gloomy atmosphere, the tired eyes, the cold inside, the numbness.. the ‘kiss my ass type of bunny’.. good old Roxa.. love me or hate me :).
So much for believing there actually was some light at the end of the tunnel.. It was only a deceitful firefly that blinded me. The freight train coming my way already happened ( check my birthday posts.. ). After a day that was a bit too busy to get me thinking, when the darkness fell, after a conversation that opened my eyes, it was like waking up from a terrible hangover in which I was only floating in euphoria. It pinched me. Useless to describe the whole part of agony, in which I nearly crashed in the corner of the room, sittin` with the head on my knees, breathing so hard, holding my hands on my ears (like that would stop me from hearing the fast-wandering thoughts).. Heh, details and too much drama.. isn`t it ? After ten minutes of complete desolation, I started to calm down, I moved to the center of the room, sittin` on the carpet, sustaining my head near the bed, and for an hour, frowned, I watched the clock on the wall.. must admit, after a few minutes Seinfeld`s question was poping up : ‘What is this salty discharge coming out of my eye ?’..
There`s no use in finding who`s guilty, I know very well I`m responsible and every other thought beyond this border is in vain. Maybe I should just disappear.
Tool were the ones who inspired me for the title and the song with the same name is still on repeat in my Winamp. Wanted to show you some lyrics, but then I thought it all fits, so why don`t I write them all ?
Something has to change.
Un-deniable dilemma.
Boredom`s not a burden
Anyone should bear.
Constant over stimulation numbs me
But I wouldn`t want you
Any other way.
Just, not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I don`t want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I`m alive.
Finger deep within the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Relax, turn around and take my hand.
I can help you change
Tired moments into pleasure.
Say the word and we`ll be
Well upon our way.
Blend and balance
Pain and comfort
Deep within you
`Till you will not want me any other way.
But, it`s not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I don`t want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I`m alive.
Knuckle deep inside the borderline.
This may hurt a little but it`s something you’ll get used to.
Relax. Slip away.
Something kinda sad about
The way that things have come to be.
Desensitized to everything.
What became of subtlety?
How can it mean anything to me
If I really don`t feel anything at all?
I`ll keep digging `till,
I feel something.
Elbow deep inside the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Shoulder deep within the borderline.
Relax. Turn around and take my hand.
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2 Responses to “Stinkfist”

  1. Cougar Of All Trades

    you do realize that this depression period is just an ephemerous stage, don`t you? it`s gonna be alright, trust me on this one.

  2. Roxa Trutza

    :) .. Hopefully.. Thanks for the support.

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