Vulnerable
February 9th, 2006 at 10:05pm
It took a while and a dozen sighs to pull myself together and hit the new post button. My thoughts were spread in a thousand directions like the brains of a suicidal a few moments after he pulled the trigger.
Dad in Greece, mom stressed out because of the company, the trip to Sighisoara cancelled, Ioana calling to tell me BD opened the magic front door of the bus for her, some brainstorming with _ADI_, news about ignorance and stupidity; they all brought my mood close to 0. Like all that wasn`t enough, me and my bloody taste in movies made me choose and watch Requiem For A Dream. I`m pretty sure I`m the last sucker who didn`t see it, so I won`t make any comments towards it. It just made my mood drop lower than the absolute zero of -273,15.
It made me wanna put the eternal ‘why don`t you just fuck off and die ?’ status message in Y!M. When all my worlds reduces to four white walls, an ocean of bitter loneliness and an intricate waterfall of pain, it`s the point where I can`t get any more vulnerable. It`s one of the times in which, if I`d be on the street and some perfect smiling stranger would ask ‘are you ok ?’, I would probably fall in love. It`s the time in which if someone says or does anything that might hurt me, I`d turn my back with an immaculate magnility and never look behind. It`s one of the times in which I`d literally do anything for the phone to ring, a message to be received or any other sign from someone who not only thinks, but cares about me.
It`s one of the times you should probably stay away.
Posted in apocalypse please
WEll you’re not the last 1 to see that movie
. After seeing your status message I opened up DC and F3′d for Requiem for a Dream. This is after I googled it and after seeing the site I had a Deja Vu. I’ve been here before. No.. literally. I’ve seen the site 1-2 years ago or so but back then I didn’t know what was it about. I thought it was a sick kid’s work. It’s been designed by a romanian.
Secondly… yeah. I get so depressed sometimes that even if my mothers comments something it would make me wish I would walk out the door and never look back. So.. it’s common… I think. Is it?
Didn`t see the site, and I don`t even wish to see it, the memory has to cure. The movie really touched me… I think you`ll like it as well. OK, it fucked me all up, I have to admit.
It says a lot about people.
Wish I`d knew the cause of your depressions.
I think it is common. I mean, I`m not saying I`m different. I`m just ‘another brick in the wall’. I don`t know about you, though.
The movie is violent but not like action movies are. It goes deeper or so it happened to me. “It`s one of the times you should probably stay away.” Or not.. I know from my own experience though I’m not sure it applies here, that whenever I’m down, I would rather talk to strangers than to the ones I know, because somehow it drives me away from my own problems, life etc. Anyhows.. smile. like this –>
Thank you.
No one told me to smile. I did smile like that –> 
I realize now what you say is true, about talking to strangers when all the people you know bring you down. So, any stranger out there wanna have a chat ? 
))